Look y'all. My four year old is going to be the death of me. She literally needs 18 activities before I down one cup of coffee. Somehow, Saturday morning by 8am, we ended up with a green bundt cake in the oven and a batch of gray icing. And we all know how that ends...
I love my daughter dearly, but the struggle bus has pulled into our driveway and does not look like it's leaving anytime soon. She moves at the speed of a sloth OR barrels through the room like a road runner. There is no in-between, so mornings are quite the challenge. Along with her blossoming personality.
We barely survived Saturday, and made it though church Sunday morning with minimal "Norah, stop. Norah, walk. Norah, watch out!" moments. During our afternoon errands {because we needed on the go activities to keep her entertained} she decided she is ready to push a full size shopping cart. LAWD HELP ME. Luckily the store we were at was not crowded in the least bit, with just a few tight squeezes for her to maneuver. Anytime I corrected her, I was being "rude"...cue the huge eye roll and add about 50 emoji's after it.
But, pushing on, I kept my "Helen knows the owner face" and we made it through the store. **This face will come in handy later**
Our next errand was the grocery store. Yes. Dumb. Hitting up the grocery store on the Sunday afternoon before school starts. Whatever. The kid had some jelly beans and was content at the moment.
The aisles at this store are crazy tight. Like 2 carts and done. People are not moving anywhere. Once again, my assertive little Boo decides she wants to push the cart. Deep breathe. "Boo watch out. Boo don't climb up there. Sweetie, walking feet with the cart." And about 5 more of those as we close out on the first aisle.
Then comes THE MOTHER. People are trying to get through and our cart, plus my darling child is blocking the aisle. So, with having about enough over the past 48 hours, I grab her hand and say "Boo, get out of the way!" {For the record, there was no yelling. It was what I like to call the "mom voice"...low and controlled so they know you mean business.} THE MOTHER looks right at me and says "She is NOT in the way. She is behaving so nicely! She's fine!"
I about dropped whatever was in my hand, stared for a few seconds, and then gave her the BIGGEST, BRIGHTEST, HELEN YOU KNOW THE OWNER FACE. Proceed and get out of the chip aisle.
Um, Ma'am? Why are you Mom shaming me? In a crowded aisle? At the grocery store? When you have NO IDEA this is the 50th time I have redirected my daughters behavior. Are we not supposed to stick together? My daughter was in NO danger. Maybe in danger of only getting to choose 1 type of cookie instead of 2! And YOU decide to give me your opinion right there. When you can 100% see all over my face I am struggling.
I still consider myself a new Mom. Each month, week and day bring new behaviors, joys and struggles that I pray to get through with support from my friends and family. SUPPORT. Not judgement, from a stranger, during a weak moment. I am the queen of letting it eat me up inside. I feel like a failure because my daughter, at age 4, still throws knock-down-drag-out tantrums and it is beyond embarrassing. The best part? It is usually only for me. #ripmyheartout
Please don't judge me. Please don't tell me your opinion unless I come to you in confidence. Please show me grace as I am learning what works best with my beautiful daughter. Please just pat me on the back and tell me it will someday get better and that you are there for me. With coffee. And wine. Please. I am begging you. {Usually with sweaty lip, screaming toddler on my hip and visions of booze in my near future.}
Pray for me. Pray for all of the struggling BAD-A Mother's who do EVERYTHING for their kids, and still feel like a load of crap at the end of rough days. Pray that we all see the beauty and humor in this someday, and know that HIS grace is all we need.
Marmee, I don't know how you did it with the Three Stooges, but Glory be to God! I am forever grateful for everything you did and still do for us! Amen, Hallelujah to the Lord, you are AMAZING.
And for the record, she was in the way, she was not behaving nicely and things were not fine. At the moment.
